The rock bottom and a ray of sunshine

I hit the rock bottom again. I already knew it when I posted my last blog. I felt it coming. This feeling is unexplainable. It's a persistent feeling mixed with numbness and sadness. The feeling of being empty but at the same time being full of guilt and worry. This feeling takes all my energy. It is paralyzing me. It makes me wish for all of this to end. I can try to explain this feeling but I can't describe it because even I can't quite grasp it.

I can usually pick myself up after few days but this time I just can't do it. It's been a week already but my mood isn't getting any better. I'm still here. At the bottom of this dark, deep void. But there is a ray of sunshine. My friends. They are trying their best to cheer me up. I got a new friend too. It's something that I didn't think I was capable doing. Meeting new people. Talking to them. Getting to know them. But I can. I can do it. I hope I can do it in the future too.

There is no cure for this. No magic pills, no trick, no loophole. Only way up from the rock bottom is climbing. It takes time. It requires help. Sometimes even that won't do it. Sometimes it lasts longer and sometimes it's easier to get up. Right now I just know that this isn't going to be easy but I can't quit or I will fall right back down. I wish I knew if this is as hard for other people going through the same as I am.